When It's Hard To Let Go (Attachment)

"If you love someone let them go, if they come back its meant to be."

Have you ever met someone and you and that person just hit it off right from the get go?
It's like you just start talking and feel like you've known them since forever, but in reality it's only been a year or so? Doesn't time fly so quickly!?

You begin to form some sort of close attachment to that person. They become more than just a friend they become a part of you. I have had many friends though out my life that I have been attached to, as I'm sure you have. I mean let's be honest, how many of us get to see our "BBF" from high school on a regular basis. Which has really got me thinking about this topic.

I've been thinking about attachment a lot more recently since the idea of "Wu Wei" was brought up in class. Wu Wei is a term derived from the ancient Chinese religion of Taoism. It is the idea of effortless action. It says in society, if something is meant to be, it will be. Don't force it. Don't push it. In the right time, everything will work out just the way it's meant to. It says concerning relationships, all most the same thing, If the relationship is meant to be, it will be. You can't force someone to like you. You can't force them to love you. You can't force them to stay.

Taoists say the main cause of pain in this world is attachment. Everything is constantly changing. The only thing that is permanent is the fact that nothing is permanent. And when we become attached to anything or anyone it's open the door to sadness.

With that being said if we know that the flowers will wither away, that the buildings will crumble, and the people will eventually pass on...why do we allow ourselves to get so involved? Why do we spend so much of our time taking care of the things around us if we know it won't last? That may be a tough question to answer, so let's take the same principle and ask a simpler question you may be able to relate to

Why do we spend the money on brownie mix and spend the time making them, when we know that we will not always have those brownies? It way sound silly but why?
Because we know that even if just for a short time, it will bring us some pleasure and satisfaction.

That is exactly why we put the work and time into our relationships. Because the people in our lives bring us joy and pleasure. If they didn't we wouldn't care.

But what is it that they say? "All good things must come to an end"? BUT WHY!? This is where attachment causes serious problems. We feel that we won't be able to continue with out this thing/person. and it kills us to think that we may permanently lose it.

That's where love come into play. Remember how I described the word love in yesterday's post...concerned for the good of others.

WOW. If you genuinely love somebody, you are going to care about them and their well being more than the selfish feelings you get inside, when you want to keep them all to yourself. If leaving and breaking those ties are what they Lord has in store it's going to happen whether you agree or not. If you truly cared about that person, you would encourage them to do whatever it takes to help them get to a place where they need to be.

Don't take anything I've said in the wrong way. I'm not saying don't create those ties. I'm not saying don't nurture you relationships. I'm not saying kick people to the curb. All im simply trying to say is. People come and people go. seasons come and seasons go. Flowers bloom and flowers die. The sun rises and the sun sets. It's a fact of life that we have to learn, no matter how hard it can be.

God knows what He is doing. All we can do is pray.

"People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
Or to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON,
It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,
The season eventually ends.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
Those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person anyway;
And put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life."

Live...Laugh...Love

Until next time,

Racheal <3

Is Love Really Blind?

"Love is Blind."

I'm sure most of you at one time or another has heard the above quote, but have you ever stopped and really though about it. Have you ever dissected it and really questioned it's meaning?

I heard this quote used earlier this week. One girl asked another girl, "How can she like that guy? He is bad news." to which the other girl replied, " You know what they say, 'Love is blind', she cant see him for who he really is."

The more I thought about this, the more I began to disagree with the logic behind the statement. When you love someone (and I'm not talking about just romantic love here, I'm talking about love for a spouse, a best friend, a cousin, a coworker, or anybody you come into contact with), do you really become blind?

Let's start by defining the 2 main words that make up the quote. I know this may seem silly but it is crucial to where I am going with my thought process.

1. Love: "strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties" and "unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another
2. Blind: "Sightless"

So basically what the quote is saying is: When you have a strong affection for someone and are genuinely concerned for their good, you become sightless.

Imagine someone you claim to love...Are you imagining? OK now list in you head some of their flaws, imperfections, and annoying quirks...you got it? I got a few, so obviously my love for this person isn't completely "blind".

You can see the flaws and imperfections, but does do that make your love for that person any weaker? If it is a genuine love it shouldn't.

You willing CHOSE to say, " You know what. Yes. You have flaws. Yes. You have imperfections. Yes. Sometime you annoy the crap out of me. and Yes. Some times the decisions you make make me want to slap you across the face and shout 'What in the world are you thinking!?!', but none of that matters and none of that is going to make me leave you because I am loyal to you, I am concerned for your good and well being, and I LOVE you and nothing can change that."

But why if we see the bad, do we decide to close our eyes to it and ignore it. Why do we continue to love this person. I believe love is not only not blind, but love can SEE more than others can see.

Like I said in my first post, we all wear some type of mask. I also believe along those same lines that we all build up walls, and we all build up walls for different reasons. One of my favorite quotes about walls goes a little something like this...Some people build up walls not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to break them down.

When people meet you, they are only going to be able see what you decide to show them. They are going to see that rough, tough, jerk of a person you pretend to be.
But as you get closer to each other and begin to talk more, they will begin to chip away at the facade you present the world, and they will begin to see all the good qualities you have inside. They will learn the reasons you do the things you do, and why you make the decisions you make. They will begin to understand the real you and see you more complete. (Like a puzzle. If there are just a few pieces you may not see the point, but as you fit more and more pieces together you will see it all works together to make a beautiful picture.)

And even though they see the flaws, the imperfections, and the quirks...they also see your tender heart, sense of humor, courage, and good intentions.

Reminds me of the song by Tim McGraw, "Better than I used to be".
At one point in the song he says "Just put some faith in me, and someday you'll see there's a diamond under all this dust." WOW! that's all I can say...

You may see some one as bad news or not the greatest to be around, but before you make that judgment take time to get to know them. Invest in them and try to get to the real heart of them. you just might be surprised :)

• That pompous egotistical jerk could be the most kind-hearted and loyal fellow you could ever meet, hiding behind his facade because he had been hurt before.
  
• That woman who seems to just let everyone walk all over her and use her, could be afraid of being left by those she cares about and she loves them to much to see them go
• That guy that is ALWAYS making what you see as stupid decisions, do you know why he makes them...maybe it's the only thing he can do

So when you encounter these people, close one eye to the negative and open you whole heart to the positive. You never know, under the dust there just may be a beautiful diamond that you might not have otherwise come across :)

“Love is not blind; it simply enables one to see things others fail to see.”

“Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”

Live...Laugh...Love
Until Next Time,
Racheal <3

A God Who Reveals Himself

Where is God?
How do I know for a fact God is real?
What if the Bible is just a book of fairy tales?
Who is to say the other religions don't have it right, and we have it wrong?

Have one or more of the above questions ever gone through your head?
As much as I hate to admit it, questions like these have been plaguing my mind for a few weeks now. I've grown up in church and have been a "good girl". I was the kid who was there Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday, and ever other time. Those things alone though can't get you to Heaven. You have to have a personal relationship with Jesus.

Like I said above, I was always the church kid. I said the prayers, I tried to obey all the rules my Sunday school teaches taught about, I have even been baptized...but nothing was ever "REAL"

September 11, 2011 is the date I finally nailed down my salvation for good. It was during the evening service that Sunday. My pastor had been preaching on Revelation and the end times. I was terrified. But I was good, but not good enough to get to heaven, no one is that good on their own. The conviction was heavy on my heart, but I was ready to get up and walk out that service as quick as I could.
What kept me from fleeing though was the love of my best friend. She saw straight through whatever facade I was trying to make to cover my fear.
So right there in the sanctuary, with my best friend on one side of me and my pastor's amazing wife on the other. I surrendered all. All to Jesus, I surrendered.

From that day on...I never doubted was salvation...WRONG

Welcome to Religion 101 (from a secular university stand point) .... :S
January of 2012 I decided to take an introduction to world religions class...little did I fully understand what I was getting myself into. Everything was going well, I breezed though Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, but once we hit Judaism...the doubts started.

• The Jews are God's chosen people, but Christians think they are to replace the Jews
  
• They believe mostly the same thing Christians believe, Christians just added their own books to it.
• The Christians are responsible for the Holocaust
  

These were some of the many points brought up by my secular professor...
I decided to try to keep a clear mind so I text my pastor, only to have him call me.
I told him what was going on, and what was going through my head. He assured me that one of the great things about Christianity was that we could KNOW if our salvation was real of not. and that once we had it, there was no losing it. We are under grace and nothing I do can separate me from God, the price had been paid. I was free. He proceeded to tell me that these doubts could be occurring for 3 reasons:

1. I really wasn't saved and it was God convicting me to follow Him
2. I had become complacent and slowly walking away from God
3. Satan was using the situation I was in to confuse me so I would be of no use to the Kingdom

My pastor then prayed with me over the phone asking the Lord to reveal truth to me and told me to read the book of 1 John.

After our conversation, I posted a simple status to facebook, "Need some prayer warriors right now...." and right away got a response of prayer from 2 very wonderful women in my church, neither one of them even knowing exactly what was going on. I stayed seated in the car for a little longer, before I decided to grab my Apologetic s study Bible and head inside.
Then I met Hal....

On my way inside, I was greeted by Hal Crenshaw. Hal was at my house to spray for termites and pests so they couldn't get inside the house. Little did I know that this greeting was ordained by God to show himself to me.

Hal came over and shook my hand, and when he did he asked what book I was carrying. I shyly showed him the cover and told him it was a study bible. "Cool", he replied, "that was going to be my first question, I was going to ask if you were a Christian." I looked at him and just nodded. He continued, " that's a good reference Bible you have there, I graduated from Bible college and my main focus area was Apologetics. Just the other day I was witnessing to a Jewish man and he just broke down in tears. He thought what he believed was good enough and I had to convince him that Jesus was the Messiah that his holy book foretold"

~~Wait! Time Out! Was he ease dropping on my phone call? Well, there was no way he could have. I was in the car, with my windows rolled up, and Hal was all the way across the yard, with a drill running, under the house!! ~~~

I was shocked. That was just too perfect! I continued to listen to Hal talk and became increasingly more brought in by his words. Everything he said was in perfect align with what my pastor had just told me 10 minutes earlier, you would have though they had planned it! but they had never even met, and my pastor was on the interstate in the mountains!

Hal continued to talk about assurance and how there is no way you can lose you salvation, because it's not based on what WE do but what CHRIST does for us. How his grace is perfect and how Satan will try to use situations to confuse us so we aren't of any use to the kingdom (sound familiar?) Then he said "Satan can do whatever he wants to confuse our heads, but our faith lies in our heart and Satan can't break that."

That is just too cool to be a coincidence if you ask me. 2 women, both praying for their friend even though they didn't know the circumstances... and 2 men, hundreds of miles apart, both with the same message and encouragement at just the right time to convince this doubting girl that what she has is real because the God who gave it to her is realer than real.

I'm getting goose bumps just thinking about it. My peace is back and I'm ready to continue moving forward.

What about you? Are you having doubts? Do you need God to reveal the truth of Himself and His Word to you? He will if you ask Him to :) I believe that because He did it for me!

John 14:21
"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.

Live...Laugh...Love
Until Next Time,
Racheal <3

I'd Like to Introduce You to Personality 1, 2, and 3...

We all wear masks. If you tell me you don't or NEVER have, I would have a hard time believing you. A mask is anything you hide behind. Anything that conceals the REAL you from the world.

We all have a desire to "belong", to "fit-in", and to "be apart"

Ask almost any preteen girl if they would rather stand out from the crowd or blend in with the crowd...I'm sure 99.9999% would say blend in.

The fact is the mask wearing game isn't just something preteen girls struggle with.

We all chip away at ourselves and carve ourselves into something we are not in order to feel more socially acceptable. We don't want to be alone, we don't want to be rejected, we don't want to feel unloved. We don't want to feel worthless.

We are forced the view point that in order to "belong", we must fit into a certain mold. This mold was made by Hollywood to say that celebrities are better than you! When in reality, most celebs wouldn't even fit in their unrealistic goals if it wasn't for plastic surgery and photo shop!

The world sets out to tell us that:

• If your hair isn't perfectly styled, it's a mess and you should wear a hat
  
• If you aren't a size 2, you're fat and should have zero self-confidence
  
• If your teeth aren't perfectly straight or white, you shouldn't show the world you smile :)
• If you have a blemish, you need to buy all the expensive make-up and cover yourself in it
• If your opinion is different, you keep it to yourself
• If your voice squeaks, don't sing your heart out
• If you cry you are weak
• And if you speak out against the public opinion, you are an extreme rebel
  

I don't know about you, but I have a problem with the "ideal person".... I have a problem with just "going with the flow"

The Bible even says that we are to be a "peculiar person"...and "not to be conformed to the world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind."

What are we teaching our youth?
We are basically saying that being different is a curse...being a little weird is shameful...and having a unique personality should be looked down upon.

Let me just say, if everything and everyone was EXACTLY the same...this world would not be nearly as interesting or fun! In fact it would be down right boring! It's true what they say..."Variety is the spice of life."

You may be reading this and thinking to yourself "I don't care what Hollywood thinks!", but what about your family? What about your class mates? What about you co-workers? What about that friend you claim you can "completely be yourself around"? Do you care what they think? Do their opinions of you matter?

You act one way at home, another way at school, another at work, another with you best friend, another with your significant other, another at church...whew! that has to b hard to keep up with! Have you ever worn the wrong mask at the wrong time...I sure have!!

While writing this, one song keeps popping into my mind. It's called "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking" by Blake Shelton (you can listen to the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xXD9-1mLBY&ob=av2e) AS the title tells us, the song in a nut shell is Blake asking someone special to him "Who are you when I'm no looking?" Do people have to wonder if you act differently when they aren't around, or are you consistent in you personality? If someone was to tape you on a Friday night and show it on the power point in church on Sunday morning...how would that make you feel? Would that change you church friends opinion of you? Let's turn that around, if we recorded you on Sunday morning and showed it to your "group" on Friday night, would they be surprised?
That's something to think about...

I don't want to sound judgmental, believe me I am definitely speaking to myself. My college friends and my church friends have a very different view of who Racheal Riffle is and what Racheal Riffle stands for...and I am not proud of that. In fact I'm doing everything in my power to change this...what about you? Don't be afraid to stand up and stand out. Be proud of who you are. Rip the mask of your face and show the worl the real you. Sure, some may not like it and some may not agree, but in the long run you will be a much happier person.

"Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?"

"We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin."

"Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself."

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."

Live...Laugh...Love
Until Next Time,
Racheal <3